Why helping is pointless... a story of how I messed up.

Recently…

Unknowingly…

I acted like the coach I am not that fond of…

And you know what…

I didn’t even know it…

Until the cricketer said…

‘I won’t change myself for anyone’.

Now…

My intention was not to change them… I intended to help.

Agggggh!!! no one needs help.

See I thought I did well.

I observed and made my notes.

Took video.

We are engaged in a conversation.

I shared my feedback.

All in the name of ‘better’.

And yet… the better I thought would be the solution.

Was not the better the player wanted or even needed.

I forgot to ask…

Forgot to enquire…

Forgot to be curious.

And I needed to be reminded.

It’s about them.

Not about me.

I do see value in the experience not just for me… for them too.

In how they stood up… realised what they were about.

Knuckled down and committed to what they know is true, good and authentic to them.

Their way.

In as much as it is not the outcome I wanted… it is an outcome I normally encourage.

Play Your Way!

And although I am happy that they could through this interaction find or learn a bit more about their way.

I wish though that I from the start I made it about them.

Helping is not what a coach does.

A lesson I needed reminding of.

From our greatest stuff ups, come our greatest learnings.